[I know the title is misleading–I haven’t actually run the 5K yet. I’m still just training to run the 5K, making the transition from solely running 5Ks on the treadmill to running them on pavement. The real 5K, the Swedish Summer Run, is in 10 days, and if you want to support the fight against ovarian cancer while doing something good for your body, you can register right here. And now, without further ado…]
1) When you run downhill, eventually you have to run back up.
2) Snot rockets are far less disgusting when the alternative is death by choking on your own snot.
3) People smoke weed just about anywhere in Seattle, and when you see them while you are running, you are jealous that you, too, aren’t sunbathing in dry grass while smoking a joint.
4) Do not shout, “My runner’s high is better!”
5) Off-leash dogs want to fetch you, and their owners think you’re an asshole for looking at them incredulously.
6) Blisters are your purple hearts.
7) Feeling like you’re going to die is only better than actually dying.
8 ) Under Armour is the shit. (They did not pay me to write that, but if you want to pay me to do it again, Under Armour, I can be reached here.)
9) Burping up coconut water while running will make you want to vomit.
10) Pavement should be made out of pillow-stuffing. Or marshmallows.