A Post Wherein I Tell You More About My Nipples Than You May Want to Know

10 thoughts on “A Post Wherein I Tell You More About My Nipples Than You May Want to Know”

  1. Brian, you need some Glide! My husband is a runner and he puts this stuff everywhere–I mean EVERYWHERE–to avoid chafing. You can get it at any running store.

    1. Glide!? It sounds like a lubricant. I’m sold! Thanks for the tip. (I suppose there’s a pun in there somewhere.)

      By the way, I haven’t had chafing EVERYWHERE, thankfully, but you are seriously making me frightened of what’s to come, Rebecca. Seriously.

  2. Two words: SHIRTLESS. Okay, that’s one word. La Leche League endorses lanolin ointment, which sounds kinda like the Glide, so I’d go wit dat. Good on ya, mate—keep up the good work!

  3. I don’t remember signing a waiver giving you permissions to put my band-aid nipple incident on blast. Although, if one person learns to never wear a white shirt when you have band-aids on your nipples, I guess it’s worth while.

    I still recommend running shirts, but if that’s still not working for you, I think the best bet is to cut nipple holes in your shirt. Not only will you avoid any nipple chaffing, but you might also start a new trend in men’s fashion.

    Is your underarmor tight? My running shirts are 100 percent polyester and my nipples have never felt better.

    1. Sorry, Steve. I thought it was cool. Everyone who will see “Fat Fuck” will know your nipples all too well anyway.

      The Under Armour is tight, yeah. I wear it under a t-shirt. I’ll have to check if it’s polyester. Where do you get your shirts? Link me, man.

  4. As a nipple-having once-runner, I can attest to the powers of Glide. It’s nasty to cover your body with thick, lubey gel, but effective. And, your nipples will thank you.

  5. I’m a little late to the party, but I would also like to see a shirtless brian, preferably with the pasties, preferably in refrigerator-magnet form. if you could produce those right away i would be most gratified.

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